WTF is Compassion?

The Essence of Compassion in Our Lives

 Compassion is a profound and essential aspect of the human experience. It is the driving force behind our desire to help and serve others, ultimately fulfilling our purpose as kind individuals in this beautiful journey we call life. By fostering deep connections and embodying love, we can create a more harmonious world.

Nemo dat quod non habet. No one can give what they do not have.

The Psychological Foundations of Compassion

 Research in psychology highlights the importance of compassion in our mental and emotional well-being. Studies indicate that acts of kindness and compassion can lead to increased happiness and life satisfaction. For instance, a study published in the journal *Emotion* found that engaging in compassionate acts can boost one’s own mood and foster a sense of belonging. Additionally, the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley reports that practicing compassion can improve our physical health, reducing stress and enhancing immune function. This suggests that compassion is not only beneficial for those we help but also for ourselves, creating a cycle of positivity and well-being.

Nemo dat quod non habet. No one can give what they do not have. So you must have self compassion.

This is one of my dad's favorite sayings. You can't give what you don't have. That doesn't just go for emotions, it goes for materials, health, language, lots of things in our world. But here, we remember from this beautiful Latin phrase that I cannot pronounce, you must have what you are trying to also give.

Philosophical Perspectives on Kindness

 Philosophers throughout history have emphasized the importance of compassion and kindness. The Dalai Lama articulates this beautifully, stating, “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” This perspective underscores the idea that compassion is integral to our existence and societal cohesion. Moreover, the concept of Ubuntu, a philosophy originating from Southern Africa, emphasizes the interconnectedness of all people. It translates to “I am because we are,” highlighting that our identities and purposes are intertwined with others. This philosophy encourages deep connections and mutual support, reinforcing the idea that our lives are enriched through acts of compassion.

The Importance of Deep Connections

 Deep connections with others are vital for emotional health and fulfillment. According to research conducted by the Harvard Study of Adult Development, strong relationships are one of the most significant predictors of happiness and longevity. The study tracked the lives of individuals over 75 years and concluded that those with close relationships experienced better physical and mental health. Moreover, social psychologist Brené Brown emphasizes the power of vulnerability in forming deep connections. She states, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” By allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and compassionate, we foster deeper relationships that can lead to transformative experiences for both ourselves and others.

It's kind of like being a diamond in the rough...You're glad once you find it. And it all becomes clear.

If you know me, you know I struggle to make friends. And maintain long-term friendships. I used to think it was because I was a bad friend, but after evaluating this (and talking with a therapist) it's not that I am a bad friend, in fact, I might be one of the most loyal, thoughtful friends you will ever have. I am just SUPER DEEP. Like someone can ask how my day is, I say good, then I can go from 5 to 500 in seconds, going into the power of mindset and how you should always try to reframe negative into positive to rewire your brain. That scares some people, well, most people. Including me sometimes. I'm like, dang, I didn't even realize I knew that much detail about that one itty bitty topic. It is a gift and I value it, it is part of who I am and I own it.

Don't ever say you're tired, because when you do so, you create more tiredness by repeating it. Instead try saying something like "I'm being renewed or refreshed."

To summarize this depthness: I am a great friend.

Compassion as a Pathway to Love

Compassion is intrinsically linked to love. It is through compassionate actions that we express our love for others, creating a ripple effect that can transform communities. Research shows that love and compassion can activate the brain’s reward system, releasing oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone.” This biological response reinforces our desire to connect and serve others. Furthermore, a study published in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience found that witnessing acts of compassion can elicit feelings of warmth and connection in observers, encouraging them to engage in similar behaviors. This phenomenon illustrates how compassion can spread, creating a culture of kindness that enhances the quality of life for everyone involved. Hence why they say smiles and laughter is contagious, because it literally is, just on an energy, molecular level, not a bacteria or virus level.

You may not know where the path is leading you, but trust it will lead you exactly where you need to go when you are guided by love.

Embracing Compassion in Our Lives

Embracing compassion as a core value enriches our lives and the lives of those around us. Through psychological insights, philosophical teachings, and the importance of deep connections, we can understand that our purpose is intertwined with acts of kindness and love. By serving others and fostering compassion, we not only fulfill our own potential but also contribute to a more beautiful, interconnected world. Let us strive to embody compassion in our daily lives, creating a legacy of kindness and connection for future generations.

Understanding Compassion

Compassion is a profound emotional response that involves recognizing the suffering of others and taking action to alleviate it. Research by Brené Brown emphasizes the importance of vulnerability in fostering compassion, highlighting that embracing our own imperfections allows us to connect more deeply with others. Similarly, Dr. Kristin Neff's work on self-compassion underscores the significance of treating ourselves with kindness, which in turn enables us to extend that same kindness to others. Together, their findings suggest that compassion is not just an innate quality but a skill that can be cultivated, leading to stronger relationships and a more empathetic society.

BONUS: Compassion Versus Empathy

Empathy and compassion are closely related but distinct in their own right. Empathy involves understanding and sharing another person's feelings, essentially putting yourself in their shoes to feel what they’re going through. It’s about connection and emotional resonance. Compassion, on the other hand, goes a step further—it not only involves understanding another’s adversity but also a desire to alleviate it. While empathy can lead to a shared emotional experience, compassion motivates action to help or support those in need. In simple terms: empathy = passive, compassion = active. Remember, you MUST HAVE compassion for yourself and if you don't know how to get started with this, I recommend Self Compassion by Dr. Neff.

The strongest leaders have self compassion and compassion for others. The strongest leaders practice compassion daily. And the best leaders understand the value of love. Even the ultimate-winningest coach, Geno Auriemma, said this after winning his 12th National Championship. It's about love, people.

Let's love!

xx

Nani